In the name of all things Fitzroy, stop what you are doing right now. Whatever it is. Stop eating your toenails. Stop banging your housemate. Because Smith & Daughters exists and they can feed you a foodgasm in the form of Mexi-vegan delights, so everything else you will ever do is meaningless.

Smith & Daughters is certainly the talk of the Northside town right now, however it must be noted that many of these words are from Caroline Springs residents who fail to fathom a world beyond fried chicken wings (is that some Northside sass going on? Ummm, yes). UrbanSpoon has been quick to label this venue as a vegan mecca, though I would more accurately label it as a mecca for people who just love to eat the shit out of something delicious and can handle an absence animal carcass, served by attractive hipsters. They also feature ampersands prominently in their branding, which is deserving of some serious vegan brownie points. S&D know how to impress.

Ampersands, yo.

My Smith & Daughters experience went a little something like this:

I booked a table for about 9.30 on a Saturday night. Upon arrival, we were greeted by a waiter whose excessively dark fashion decisions did not quite match her sunny disposition. She apologised and told us that we may have to wait an extra 10min for our table in such a way that made it seem my childhood pet had suddenly died. I appreciated her concern for my culinary wellbeing. We were seated on some stools facing the window, a prime location to watch the Brunswick Street ruckus pass us by, probably on their way to Perseverance or somewhere equally as frightful. I ordered a glass of New Zealand red, delicious as it didn’t come out of a $10 box (my standards are lofty). We were then awkwardly greeted by another waiter who also apologised for the excessive wait of 10min, and offered us more drinks. Approximately four minutes later, we were seated and had ordered our meals. Turns out vegans can also do efficiency.

10min later, food had arrived on our table. Our side involved potatoes mixed with something vegan that tasted like chorizo. Our main dish involved a tortilla ‘bowl’ of sorts, filled with more chorizo-esque edibles, some corn, beans, jalapeños and my favourite thing in existence: guacamole. I can confidently say this dish has redefined what food means to me. And what living means to me. My descriptions of such meals shall remain ambiguous, partly because some mystique must be reserved for your inevitable visit, but also because I was too fucking excited about life and forgot to photograph the menu.

This is it.

The possibility of dessert diminished swiftly as our bellies filled up the best fucking meal we had eaten in months. I have since raved about Smith & Daughters to everyone who has dared to look me in the eye. I plan to write a play about this glorious venue.

I enjoy wine.

Occupie Metrics:

Door to Beard Index:  Whether they be of the hipster or hippie kind, vegans tend to be attached to beards. The S&D beard index is high.

Coffee: Apparently they do a mean coconut milk latte however coffee was not on our agenda this fine evening.

Noms: I’m hoping my previous ranting has made this metric redundant.  

How poor will it make me? It doesn’t matter. You will pay it. (Not much, <$50).

Is it instagram worthy? Yes. The #SmithAndDaughters hashtag is full of badly filtered photos of the same meal that I ordered. However the walls are pretty.

Final thoughts: These words may possibly suggest to you that I’m prone to hyperbole. However I challenge you to eat here and not feel the same way.

-M

I absolutely adore this place.

If it wasn’t for Vegie Bar, vegetarian food just wouldn’t be  cool. Enthusiastic carnivores would have NO CLUE what can really be done with tofu and veggies. Brunswick St would probably become a wasteland because I’m convinced that 90% of its traffic is going to or from this sublime venue.

I’m surprised to read that it only has an 87% rating on UrbanSpoon. But as I learned by reading the comments, some of those twats don’t seem to realise that this is  the most popular restaurant in the north-side neighbourhood, and a short waiting time in a cosy and immaculately decorated court yard may be required. What the fuck ever.

Yeah, nom. Raw stuff.

This place never fails to impress me. I went through a huge mi-goreng phase here some years back, but this time I ordered the faux-chicken wrap. I find faux chicken to be a bit hit or miss at times, but these guys definitely get it right. It was only $9, and the portion size was spot on, despite many of their other meals being quite enormous at times.

I always find the service here very decent, but typical of a restaurant that is probably 50% over capacity at all times. I’ve always been met with friendly (and attractive) wait staff who are helpful at all times, but it seems that other patrons expect to be waited on hand and foot, and are frustrated when this does not occur. The moral of this story: Vegie Bar is busy for a reason. Be thankful that anyone is providing you a plate with this glorious food on it, and if it doesn’t suit you, then take yourself and your platinum credit card back to fucking Chapel St.

Everything looks cool!

Door to Beard Index: Absolutely everyone comes to this place, because it is that amazing. Beards included.

Beer: They have a wunderbar selection of ciders and beer. I would like to drink more of it.

Noms: This is probably the most popular restaurant on Brunswick St, and for a very good reason.

How poor will it make me? I used to think this place was expensive, but compared to most brunch meals, it’s very well priced.

Final thoughts: This place is always busy, and I’ve always had to wait a while for a table. These waits usually include a cosy drink at their courtyard bar, listening to some very decent music. Definitely an all time fave.

-M.